Vague vs. Vogue

No longer vague.... I just read a quote by Mary Kay Ash, “So many women come to us all vogue on the outside and vague on the inside.”

Wow, how true this is for many of us-especially myself when younger. Being a woman in my fifties now is very freeing because many things I thought were true and did because of expectations of others were never the right path for me. I went along never using my voice- one thing that totally resonates with me from #Mary #Kay’s quote. I just tried to look good to compensate for my lack of confidence in who I was on the inside. I love clothes, I will shop at the drop of a dime, but I hate the grocery store. I am a clothes horse - so was my Mom and I watched her every move when I was a little girl. She was a clothes horse for a different reason I surmise.

In 1950, at the age of thirteen she only had two dresses and one was ripped off by a rapist. In my teens, she loved the latest styles and even on a frugal budget had lists of all of her outfits written down on a steno pad to get use out of every piece. Always tan, white, cream, navy and of course black. I took her lead - I always wanted to wear the latest trend, but I also took the cue from my Mom that there were classic styles, a black turtleneck, a slim pair of pants & heels, an a-line pencil skirt with a tailored blouse. I love suits because they mean business to me.

These days, I’m so turned off by women news reporters who show cleavage and wear off the shoulder dresses, because I’m thinking, “Are we going to a ball?” Its 19 degrees outside and you can’t tell me you’re not freezing while the men sitting beside you are all buttoned up with a suit, shirt and tie. Of course, we all have had fashion blunders, to many to count.... and I can only hope that they're not out there in color on the internet somewhere and thankfully Facebook wasn’t around.

But I’ve learned now to be comfortable in my own skin and wear what makes me feel good. I love high heels, in the book, “How to be Parisian wherever you are,” It says, “3 inch heels why bother?” My sentiments exactly but they aren’t really practical, just beautiful to me and finishes an outfit. I know I’m going off on a tangent.

My point is I was vague on the inside, then my mom died at the tender age of 54. In her words a month before she died, with a book written that no one knew about, she said, “Don’t get my age and have a wish list of things you want to do, just do them, even if you fail, it won’t be because you didn’t try.” Up until then, I really didn’t own that I was a writer of poems and songs. I took my first trip to Nashville when I was 31 with my Dad. Twenty eight years later I’m still writing songs, a children’s book, called “Wings,” on Amazon, have only had two songs on the radio, have spent thousands of dollars on demo’s but write none the less, because I’m a writer.

Going back to #MaryKay, in 1995 and living in Dallas, I became a Mary Kay consultant. The plan was to sell the product so I could have flexibility in my writing so I could travel back and forth to #Nashville. I quit my full time job to hash out this plan and bought $3,600.00 of Mary Kay. A month later I was separated, relocated, went through a custody battle and then a divorce. So I started over with peace but very little money. It all worked out and I actually remember the intuitive feeling that I would be fine where else, but at a Mary Kay seminar in Baltimore.

On a good note, I still use Mary Kay everyday because I actually love, love, love the product and still am a personal use consultant. As for Mary Kay herself, she had many words of wisdom and quotes that helped me when I needed the affirmations the most at a very vulnerable time in my life as well as the other consultants I met. So with all that said, I’m no longer vague on the inside.

I’m a writer, wife, mom, mom-mom, sister, friend and a #menopause #outlaw ready to share any tidbit of #wisdom I have learned and can pass on. It's never to late to be who you were meant to be!

Belinda